The Two Most Important Days of Your Life - a letter to providence college friars club

Mark Twain once wrote, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why.” This is a quote that the Superintendent of my public school district used in his speech for my high school graduation. In the moment, I felt inspired by this quote – this idea that I was about to embark on a journey to find my purpose in life. I was leaving my hometown and moving on to Providence where I thought I would find out why I was born.

My sophomore year, I experienced pain like never before. We lost our classmate, friend, and brother, Gus Cardello. The loss of Gus lead to a great deal of reflection. I was confused how this could happen to someone so young, angry that he was taken from us, and sad for everyone around me who was mourning his loss. The one question I had lingering in the back of my mind was, “Did Gus miss out on living the second most important day of his life?” “Did he ever figure out his why?”

With this question weighing heavy on my heart, I wrote a note to the Superintendent. I shared some of my reflections with him and expressed my realizations about this quote. The day you are born and the day you find out why, are not the two most important days of your life. The most important days of your life are all of the days in between.

I think this message is extremely relevant to the Seniors in the room. As we wrap up our four years at Providence College, we are preparing for what comes next…we are often asked “what are your plans after PC?” There is a sense of pressure from society that you need to have it figured out. We are expected to figure out the why piece of the Mark Twain quote. But it isn’t all about the WHY. If Gus’s death taught me anything it is that life is short and it’s fragile.

We all need to slow down and consider what is around us. How can we be better people and make each of the days in between count? So here are the three things that I am keeping in mind as I live day to day:

1. Don’t be quick to judge. We all come from different backgrounds and have had very different experiences. Do not be quick to judge someone for their ethnicity, gender, race, sexuality, accent, clothing and so on

2. Replace anger with love and patience.

3. Treat people with respect.
   

These three things are more important than the why. I do believe that we all have a purpose in life and that there is a reason we were born. But if we get hung up on figuring that out, we will miss the opportunity to leave a lasting impact on society through our everyday actions.

Tim, Charlie, Jack and Tony – thank you for being the best teammates I could have asked for. We had the challenge of facing a year unlike any other. I can confidently say that none of us could have done our jobs without each other’s support. You are all incredible leaders, and I can’t wait to see all that you accomplish in the years to come.

To our moderators, thank you for your support during this challenging year. Not only were you willing to support our duties as Friars Club members, but you were always present with open ears to hear our concerns, frustrations, and feelings about a wide range of issues.

Dean Sears, words cannot describe how thankful I am that Friars Club introduced me to you. On behalf of the Class of 2021, thank you for everything you have done to make us feel supported, loved, and heard. Your hard work and dedication to the Friar Family does not go unnoticed, and you make this school a better place. Thank you for showing me what it looks like to be a leader.

Father Cuddy, at the beginning of the year you asked us to think about “what is Friars Club without tours”. I finally have an answer for you - Friars Club is so much more than just tours. We are a family that supports one another through the highs and the lows. We laugh together, we bicker, we cry on each other’s shoulders, we look up to one another, and we love each other. We are lifelong brothers and sisters dressed in white blazers. Oh, and I guess we still give tours.

Thank you for giving me the incredible honor of being your Vice President. It has been a rewarding experience and I have learned so much from each and every one of you. I can assure you that each of you have left an impact on Providence College and our Friar Family. You were all born to serve as leaders and spark change and there is not a doubt in my mind that you will figure out your why…but in the meantime, join me in making the most of the days in between and working to be better people each and every day.